Welcome to the Anxiety Jungle, Everyone! Here Are Some Tips
Welcome to anxiety, world! I’m here to help.
As we continue our social distancing during this pandemic, I have heard from friends and well, Twitter, that many people don’t deal with anxiety on a daily basis and they are calling those that do superheroes. While we are pretty fucking tough to live with anxiety everyday, I can say for me personally the type of anxiety we are all sharing currently is not quite the same. Similar, yes, but this communal anxiety is ten fold what I normally experience. The uncertainty and real, true fear is potent and I know has left many of us strapped to the bed. And guess what? That’s okay. It’s all okay. Isn’t that great to hear?
I wanted to share some tips I’ve learned from living with anxiety that might help. I broke it down into categories: Easy/Simple, Personal, Hard/Difficult. I also have exercises that I’ve learned in therapy and research about anxiety that are listed at the bottom. Some of these may seem odd but they work for me. Ask anyone you know who lives with anxiety and they’ll have a random tip they do that just might help you, too.
Easy/Simple
Take a shower. I don’t know what it is but standing in the shower helps calm me. Hot, warm or cold.
Drink water. If I need to take a second, I drink a glass of water. It calms my breath, slows me down, and feels good as it cascades down my throat. I recommend cold water.
Tea or coffee. I know coffee isn’t the best for anxiety but those of us that drink it, that first warm sip brings solace. Tea is the same. Warm drinks for the win.
Go outside and look up at the sky. Lay on the ground if you can but sitting on a bench or standing works. Bonus for leaning against a tree.
Cook something with multiple steps. This helps you focus and distracts you for a time.
Shelter under a million blankets. Like truly get under there and close out the entire world.
Paint your nails or color. These are other focuses activities.
Press your pressure points. There are some in your wrists that help with anxiety. Facial ones (I know we aren’t touching our face right now) and hand and feet ones help.
Stare into fire like a candle. It’s weird, I know, but get your Melisandre on and look into the flames.
Shave your legs. Or your face for the dudes. Trust me.
Personal
Watch a familiar movie. You already have your list: sick day/snow day movies.
I like to suggest scary movies or thrillers. I know that seems odd but it is a distraction from the fear you feel right now to be scared of an imaginary thing.
Childhood favorites are a good pick
My go to is Jurassic Park
Read a favorite book. One you know so well you can skip ahead if you wanted. Mine is Prisoner of Azkaban.
Read a new book. Nothing like discovering new worlds and characters to keep your mind working.
Dance to your favorite music. Build a playlist of songs that are nostalgic and you know all the words too.
Eat something comforting. I suggest a childhood food or favorite meal. Mac and cheese is my love language.
Hard/Difficult
When someone asks how you are TELL THEM. Be honest and share your feelings. Obviously don’t unload on the grocery clerk who is literally saving our skins right now but when a friend asks how you are, TELL THEM. They want to know. I am very guilty of saying I am fine as I sit holding the phone and crying. One of my best friends texted me yesterday and asked how I was doing and I burst into tears because I needed to hear from him in that moment for whatever reason. And I told him how I was feeling and he told me. It is important to stay connected and many of us who deal with anxiety daily never share our struggle. That time is on pause for the foreseeable future. We have to admit defeat, distress, and dread (big fan of alliteration) to build our deeper connection as human beings all going through this same situation.
Ask for help. This is the most difficult. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve asked for help I think. I’ve gotten better at it recently. I will turn to my husband and tell him what I need. I’ll say I am feeling panicked or I need to stop for a second. If he isn’t around and I am alone, sometimes I say it to myself. It feels impossible to say it to friends who may not know what I go through but again, that time is on pause. We have to admit when we need help. We have to ask for it. We are in this together; literally the entire world is in this together. We are not alone and we are not okay. Ask for help. Even if it is a virtual happy hour or texting for twenty minutes or screaming into a pillow or finding an online therapist. Ask for help and I guarantee it will find you.
Exercises
Breath work. There are some amazing techniques out there and you find one that works for you. Personally I find inhaling for a count of seven, holding for one, exhaling for a count of seven, holding for one to helps steady my breath. You can do shorter, of course, or cover one nostril then the other as you breath. Breath work is crucial for anxiety management.
54321: my favorite. This exercise is my new best friend. There are different versions of it but the point is to switch your focus to your surroundings to ground you. Here’s how it works:
Identify 5 things you can see around you. Table, window, cup, etc.
Identify 4 things you can hear. Cars, television, refrigerator.
Identify 3 things you can feel. Clothing, breeze from a window, cat against your legs, ring on your finger.
Identify 2 things you can smell. Coffee in your cup, a candle burning.
Identify 1 thing you can taste. This can just be how your mouth currently is or perhaps you just drank a sip of something.
Tell yourself you are okay. This is my tried and true. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hidden in a bathroom and sat on the floor and just repeated “you’re okay, everything is fine, you are not dying.” You want to find your own mantra but recognizing that you are panicking, it is temporary, and you can calm yourself down is the heart of it. The temporary is important to remember. It helps to hear your own voice, too, and present evidence to yourself. Basically lawyer yourself: “You are panicking because it is a scary time. You are nervous about getting sick, not having health insurance, people dying. It’s okay, this is temporary. You will be fine if you breath. This will pass. Nothing is hurting you right now.” That type of thing.
I hope this helps everyone who may be experiencing new tremors of anxiety. It is all new and all terrifying. But we are all experiencing it and living with it.
In the next few blogs, I’m going to move away from pandemic shit and go back to magical things. We have enough coverage, don’t you agree? I have thought to share more short stories I’ve written as well which I hope are a brief escape.
Currently unemployed for the foreseeable future, I’d like to offer two things. I would be happy to do a virtual Tarotcard reading for anyone who would like one via Skype, FaceTime, etc. I am extremely cheap.
I also have written personal fairy tales for friends and family and again offer that to anyone who would like one for themselves or a gift. It is a fairy tale inspired by the essence of you or your favorite part of someone. Also, extremely cheap.
Email me at rachel.l.riendeau@gmail.com for more information
Let’s all support each other whether we are still working or unemployed, sick or healthy, young or old. Hang in there.
