Don't Wait For Anyone Else To Throw You A Parade. Do It Yourself.

I will confess I have expectations when goals I have made for myself are met. I expect excitement, congratulations, cheers of delight and shrieks of joy. I expect them to come from everyone I know; for them to join me in my unbridled happiness as the tears flow freely because I finally check a box I’ve been working so hard to check.

The reality is this expectation is unrealistic. I can’t expect a parade to be organized every time I achieve something that others may not even realize is incredibly important to me. It only leads to resentment and anger.

Throw the parade yourself.

I recently achieved a goal that was huge. I almost typed ‘felt’ huge but it WAS huge. I need to call it that because it was. A part of my heart that had been aching suddenly burst with relief and pride and accomplishment. I sat silent for a few minutes upon receiving news this goal was met and relished the moment. It had been so long since I had experienced a moment of achievement. It was victorious and overwhelming and I was ready for trumpets to blare to announce my arrival into the halls of glory.

My announcement was met with the normal amount of excitement and congratulations.

Didn’t everyone know how MASSIVE this was? Didn’t they see that I was elated and thrilled beyond all words? I had done it! I had finally done this massive thing that on paper looks very small but it was HUGE to me!

Of course they did. But that doesn’t mean the pressure of throwing a parade with floats and marching bands needs to fall on them. It can’t; it isn’t their celebration. Their joys go to meet mine and only rise so far. No one can top how high I feel up in the clouds. It’s my sky, my clouds.

We need to learn to celebrate ourselves.

I think there is a stigma around celebrating our wins. I think it can come off as bragging or arrogant. Confidence is a tricky line to walk because we want to shout how talented we are but we fear judgement. We fear someone disagreeing with us or giving us a questioning eye. Even when we have moments of validation, it still feels uncomfortable to admit that we are absolutely fantastic and tickled pink at the circumstances.

We are conditioned to be humble; to wait for someone else to validate us and celebrate us. We aren’t allowed to do it ourselves because that makes us overly confident, rude, arrogant, boastful. How can we be so sure of ourselves when the steps haven’t been walked yet? Why are we celebrating such a small goal when the big ones haven’t even been close to being achieved?

Because we should celebrate all wins. Every last one. And we should do it for ourselves.

I stood in my kitchen alone making dinner. My husband was taking out the trash or something of the like. We had poured cava and I held a glass up for myself and let the tears come. I congratulated myself. I told myself that we did it, we are on our way. It was a small goal, miniscule to the naked eye. But to me it was an entire planet. I am allowed to feel accomplished and proud and thrilled beyond all words.

You don’t need anyone else to throw your parade; you can do it yourself. Whatever it may look like. For me, it was to purchase a ring that represented believing in my dreams. I had waited to buy it until this goal was met. I masked it as gaining employment (which also happened and I am proud of) but mostly it was for my writer heart that finally got a check mark on a box on a list of goals.

You are not arrogant or overly confident. You are proud and you should be. Placing the responsibility for celebration on others can minimize how you feel in the moment. It isn’t on them to celebrate the way you want to. You don’t need them to. You have yourself. That was who got you there, isn’t it? You achieved the goal, the dream, the moment.

Lead your own parade.