It's been a minute since I've written a blog post. There's been a lot of darkness in the world and the thoughts that have come to me seem trite to write about. However, this one seemed the most hopeful and we could all use a little hope right about now.When last we left our musical loving heroine, she had decided to give up on musical theater Did I Even Make A Sound? . In using one of my favorite quotes from one of my heroes, Miss Carrie Fisher, I took that pain and heartbreak and found a better source to feed my desire to sing.The improv team I am a part of has been playing around with the idea of musical improv for a little while. Most of us are musically inclined in some way and we all love to try different approaches to the form. I was 100% committed to trying it as we started around the last audition I had where I realized I wasn't booking a dream role. I was in a place where I assumed singing on stage was dead and gone from my life.I may not sing on key or sound particularly amazing, but musical improv has filled a void. It's allowed me to practice harmonizing and keep my voice active. It's also given me the excuse (not that I need one) to listen to musicals all the time. I even have started listening to a podcast regularly (gasp!) which is the Off Book! Musical Podcast. I highly recommend it, it's fucking hysterical and brilliant.Maybe it's the freedom that comes with improv that has allowed me not to think when I open my mouth to sing. The pressure to be perfect and competitive fades away because I just need to come up with the next line to keep the scene going. The other night, I was in a rap duet about how hard it is to be a mom. Rapping and singing: Hamilton here I come.I am guilty of forgetting that acting and performing in general is so fluid. I can take my love of singing and move into another category that isn't a full blown musical. I can also enjoy it. I still get those stage chills when we end a song and there are harmonies as we build to a button at the end. The first show we did, we had this complete finale number that ended so well, I still can't believe we made it up on the spot. It was connected, fluid, and sounded pretty good, culminating in us raising our hands up in a circle like we were in Hairspray. It was that moment I felt exactly how I did finishing up a song in a musical theater production. Same feeling, different form.I let myself be low. I let myself be defeated. It gutted me. But the ache is far less now. It's more a hunger to get better at this way of singing in a show. It feels better. It feels more me. I'll never not have my Broadway musical starlet dreams but I know that wasn't entirely me and that's why I didn't pursue it to the fullest when deciding on my education. I'll always wonder if I had, would I have more success? Doesn't matter.  I'm on this path for now. For more information on when we are performing, check us out: https://www.facebook.com/SlinkySaysRelax/